Much to give thanks for

I had my appointment with a neurologist yesterday afternoon. It went well. I do not have to have brain surgery. I do not have to have radiation (at least not now). The tumor is benign and located in my cavernous sinus. It is about the size of a large olive to a ping pong ball. It will not spread into brain tissue (that's probably my biggest relief). The only concern for the doctor is that is is constricting the flow of blood through one of the carotid arteries that runs through that sinus. That could be a serious/life-threatening issue. But these tumors grow very slowly and God made our bodies in amazing ways to adapt so it's possible that my body has compensated for the blood flow by the other carotid artery taking over. She is sending on my MRI scans to another doctor for evaluation of this and I may have to go in for another test on this. Right now, this doctor just wants to follow me and in 6 months do another MRI and see if anything has changed. She was able to tell me what to look for that would indicate more growth (worse vision, facial paralysis). The doctor also said that she has never seen a surgery to remove these tumors be completely successful and most often the patient is left with worse symptoms than before the surgery. So if something needs to be done to take care of the tumor, it would be radiation treatment. Of course there is risks in radiation (don't know what those are yet). But for now the news is really good -- just wait and watch. I'm still praying for healing. It would be awesome if they did another MRI and the tumor was gone!
What a week this has been. I have gone from a couple days of panic to a place of peace and trust in knowing God's hand is on my life and He will accomplish His will. I have come to the place where what I want most is that God would be glorified in this. Certain Scriptures have ministered to me like never before. God has not been silent and I am very changed from this experience. Even though this is a quilting blog, I want to be more open about my faith. It is what matters most, and this last week has made that conviction even stronger.
Thank you for your prayers, kind words and encouragement over this last week. It isn't over, but it is good news!

March 1 - The Day Life Changed

I want to post what I have written in an email and posted to facebook about what is happening in my life right now. I know there are quite a few views on this blog and since I haven't posted much in the last month many are probably wondering what is going on. Well, a lot! I am still quilting. I have to keep occupied with other things so that I don't get overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. But I may not be quilting nearly as much. So if you are a customer, please still stay in contact, bring me a quilt when you need one done so that we stay connected. I may take longer to get a quilt back but I still want to stay in this business.
So here's what's going on with my health:
Thank you all very much for all your prayers -- they have been so
felt. I think this would rate as the scariest week of my life! And I
can truthfully say that on Tuesday, March 1, my life changed. It all
started with the MRI which in itself was pretty frightening. The test
was long and I could tell at the end that they had found something,
but of course they say your doctor should call you within 24 hours.
Well my doctor called within two hours and said they had found a
'large tumor'. His opinion was that it would need to be surgically
removed. He was sending the MRI and my other records on to a
neurologist and said he would call me later as soon as he talked to
the neurologist. When I hung up the phone I was literally in shock.
I felt cold, light headed and like throwing up. Rick thought I should
lie down and try to rest but that was impossible. It's funny the
thoughts that run through one's mind when one is faced with something
that looks very grave. I thought about not being here to see my kids
all grown up, not being able to see grandchildren, not growing old
with Rick, not getting to go to Hawaii :(, the quilts I never
finished, the seeds I've started that I might not see produce anything
and on and on it goes. From the serious to the ridiculous I had a
million thoughts, and most of them were pretty negative. My main
feeling was similar to my first experience with labor, "I really don't
want to go through this, but there's no way out of it". (Sorry you
guys can't relate to this). All that I know about God, His
omniscience, His power, His love for me, His total control over my
life were tested (and continue to be). It's easy to say you believe
all that, but when faced with what seemed to be ahead I struggled.
Needless to say, most of Tuesday night was sleepless (it probably was
that way for much of my family and friends too). Fears are always
worse at night and I learned years ago to battle fear with Scripture,
even speaking it out loud (though quietly enough to not wake Rick).

On Wednesday I talked to the doctor again and he said after talking to
the neurologist that most likely the tumor was benign but in an area
that was inoperable. He said it possibly could be treated with
radiation to shrink the tumor. Benign is good, inoperable is bad (or
maybe good since brain surgery didn't sound like much fun), radiation
I wasn't sure about. It did help to relieve a lot of anxiety to get
that report.

So here's what we think we know. The kind of tumor is called a
meningiomas. It is a very, very slow growing tumor and almost always
benign. The larger it gets the more difficult it is to remove and
sometimes because of where it grows it is impossible to remove (such
may be the case for me). It can often be reduced by radiation
treatments. The tumor does not grow in brain tissue but between the
brain matter and the sac containing the brain. Problems can arise
when it gets to the size where it is putting pressure on some area of
the brain and can cause various symptoms. My main symptom has been
double vision. In the last two months I have had more pressure in my
ear, temple and eye. These tumors are many times found during an
autopsy and the person never knew they were even there. They occur
more often in women and most often between the ages of 40 - 60.

I have an appointment with the neurologist on Tuesday afternoon.
Hopefully that will answer a lot of questions. I still don't know how
big this 'large' tumor is. Is it the size of a marble or the size of
a golf ball? I don't know exactly where it is other than it is on my
left side.

My continued prayer request is for peace of mind and trust in our
great and awesome God. Pray that God would simply remove the tumor
(wouldn't that be a powerful witness of God's power), that it would
shrink, or that it will be treated correctly.

God knew from the very beginning of time that this was in His plan for
my life. It was a surprise to me -- but not to God. I don't know
where this road goes or how it will end but I know whose hands it's
all in. The support from family, friends and especially Rick has been
overwhelming. Thanks for your love.
Laurie

Recent Customer Quilts

Here's a couple customer quilts that I really liked. The one with the handkerchief in the center, was, I thought a really unique way to use a handkerchief. I might have to run with that idea myself.

Aprons

I finished two aprons today. They are both birthday gifts. It was a fun project and they turned out well. I have a stash of old buttons so I picked out two for each apron. This pattern was a Vanilla House design called Sunday Dinner. They have a whole line of cute apron patterns. I might have to make myself another apron too.

Unexpected Surprise

Today I was looking over a credit card statement for my business. I saw in the fine print -- which I had not noticed before that this card has reward points. I've had the card for quite a few years and when I went online I discovered that I could purchase quilting books, magazine subscriptions, fabric or other tools using the reward points. I had a lot of points so I now have coming a magazine subscription, a couple books and I joined a quilt club. What a fun surprise!

From scraps to a really cute quilt

It's amazing what one can find in their stash of quilting fabric. I was looking last week for some scraps that I could use for a lap sized quilt to give as a wedding gift. I found part of jelly roll. It was a Moda Christmas pattern from several years ago. I made several table runners with the fabric but didn't use the designs that weren't very christmassy. Using this leftover fabric, I cut it into 6 inch strips and started to sew them together. I only had enough for 4 rows. Not enough to make a quilt top, but I had about 1 1/2 yards of this black polka dot fabric that looked really good with the rows. So using 1 1/2 inch strips, I sewed those around the 6" jelly row strips. Still not big enough. Then I added the long white strips, another white border around the whole thing and finished it off with a 4" black polka dot border. It was cute before it got quilted but extra cute after the quilting was finished.

Day Off

One of my goals for the new year is to take more time off. Having a home business can be hard in that the work always seems to be calling to you. There's advantages; you can work any hours you want, you can combine work and other things at home and best of all -- there's no commute! But I also get stuck in the routine of thinking I should work most days. I've never wanted this business to become full-time. It's purpose was to help out the family financially and to do something I love -- quilt. It's been over 10 years since I started. A lot has changed. There are so many machine quilters in the area now. My studio space has more than doubled with a few of my children moving out and moving into their space. I feel much more comfortable in what I do and I think I'm pretty good at it. So life is good. But today was a day off. And a very enjoyable one. I visited with several friends, went to lunch with my husband, spent a couple hours in a quilt shop and best of all -- it was sunny outside. I purchased fabric at the quilt shop to go with some fabric I currently have that needed some companion prints to make an apron out of. The photo shows the fabrics I bought. The plaid fabric on the left is the one that I have a whole bolt of. And I mean a lot of fabric -- it started out with 40 yards of fabric on that bolt. I may never use it up. I think it will make a cute apron though. I'll post pictures when it's done. Now off to sewing and enjoying the rest of my day off!

Recent Customer Quilts

I have always loved house quilts, though I have never made one. I really liked this customer's scrappy looking house quilt. It almost inspires me to make one -- notice I said almost. My determination and discipline is to not start any new quilts until my list of quilts to finish is down to about 5. I have worked at whittling that list down for about two years now and I am seeing progress. Anyway, this was a lovely quilt.

Recent Customer Quilts

I'm enjoying a slower pace of life and a slower pace of quilting. That's probably one of the best things about January -- everything slows way down. I don't feel under the before Christmas pressure with quilting. I'm also taking a little time to work on a few of my own projects. Hopefully I can chip away at a few more quilts on my 'projects list'. But more on that later. Here's a couple pictures of two recent customer quilts. The red, white and blue quilt just has an all-over pattern and the little work trucks quilt is more custom. Notice the cones I quilted down the one border.

Happy New Year

I had to go check the calendar yesterday to remember the year. I am serious. I couldn't remember what year was ending and what the next year would be. Maybe it was my foggy head from having a cold. It does seem almost impossible to be in 2011. Time definitely accelerates.
Here's wishing all of you a happy new year. What will 2011 hold? A few plans are in the works, but only God knows the future for sure. So I will trust Him as I watch 2011 unfold.

Here's my favorite view out my studio windows -- my garden and the chicken coop!